I recently had a phone call with Jeremy. The more I talk with him, the more I realize that I'm ready (to an extent mind you) for my life to begin with him. I'm ready to move to Muncie and live with the man I love and finish my degree. I'm ready to take on his last name proudly and confidently. I'm ready to finally make something of myself. I'm ready to finally be completely happy. I'm happy now knowing that there's someone out there that loves me unconditionally, but I'll be even happier once I'm with him completely. I always said I'd never be one of those people that would fall in love the way I did. I never thought I'd be able to allow someone in on the level that he's in with me. It's all the more reason why I want to marry him and all the more reason why I want things to work out between my family and him. This all sounds crazy with me being 20 and nowhere near financially stable or emotionally ready for that matter, but I've never been more sure about something that has a major and permanent effect in my life. I've never been as in love with someone as I am with him. I'm ready to have my masters and be done with school. I'm ready to certify lifeguards and swim instructors and be an EMT. I'm ready to be an aquatics director and lesson coordinator. I'm ready to plan my wedding and walk down the aisle to the love of my life. I'm ready to plan for large getaways to Europe and Asia. I want to do it all. But the question is how can I accomplish all of this?
As cheesy as it may sound, positivity is a major key in this. Over the past few years I've been battling very mild depression. But in the last two months something's changed to where I have a new attitude on life and what I want to do. I know where I'm going in my life but now I've got more support from all ends ranging from family and friends now to Jeremy as well. Next thing I need to do is have a hardcore focus in my classes. Another thing I need to do is start saving money for my wedding and for paying my loans.
I know that this will be easy to accomplish but it's also going to be tough. It's funny how easily one's mind can be made up and how easy it is to accomplish goals. I have a newfound confidence in what I want to do and what I can accomplish.
